The term “Biblical submission” has long been considered an essential principle of a sanctified partnership. But more and more women describe that people use this term to perpetuate a pervasive type of abuse. That all too often goes unnoticed. Perhaps one can ask, is the term “biblical submission” synonymous with spiritual abuse?
If you are experiencing spiritual abuse we’d love to see you in a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session.
Coach Sharon focuses on exposing incorrect thought patterns that lead to the weaponization of spiritual truths. Sharon, as a survivor of physical, emotional and spiritual abuse, is determined to support women to regain their voice. She wants to help them reframe their value, and maintain their spiritual footing. This is what makes her valuable to our community of women who know this pain. Coach Sharon shares a profound part of her personal story.
How Can I Know If Biblical Submission Is Being Used To Abuse Me?
- Told or made to believe that the wife must submit to the husband, regardless of circumstances
- Feel that your thoughts, opinion, voice does not matter
- Told or made to feel that God wants you to forgive no matter what
- Told or made to feel that God has control over your body, not you
- Made to believe that you have no choice or decision-making role in your own relationship
- Defining women’s role in non-compromising terms
Coach Sharon describes the scattered, confusing thinking that many victims feel when they experience this type of emotional and spiritual abuse. We understand that when spiritual beliefs collide with abuse, it can be messy, confusing and bewildering. Sometimes you can feel lost or hopeless. At Betrayal Trauma Recovery, we are here for you, no matter what you believe or do not believe.
We have a strong, supportive, robust and vastly knowledgeable array of amazing coaches here for you—to help you sort through the chaos and find peace. Join Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group today. We get it, we get you.
Transcript: Is The Common Interpretation Of Biblical Submission In Marriage Wrong?
Anne: I am so excited. Coach Sharon is on today’s episode. She is one of our betrayal trauma coaches here at Betrayal Trauma Recovery. She’s passionate about exposing incorrect thought patterns. That lead to the weaponization of spiritual truths. I’m so excited to talk to her about that today.
As a survivor of physical, emotional, and spiritual abuse, Sharon is determined to support women. To reclaim their voice, reframe their value, and maintain their spiritual footing. As a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coach, Sharon speaks the truth directly, yet compassionately. As she challenges arguments, opinions, and mindsets that seek to undermine a woman’s mental and spiritual health.
Welcome, Sharon.
Coach Sharon: Thank you, Anne.
Anne: Coach Sharon is, of course, one of our Betrayal Trauma Recovery coaches. She coaches several sessions of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery group. So when you attend a group session, you can meet her and interact with her. You can also schedule an individual session with Coach Sharon by going to our website.
So Sharon, because you’ve been through this, can you talk about your experience? What did you think happened before you had the word abuse to describe your experience?
Coach Sharon: I thought we just had problems. I thought we had problems communicating like every other couple. And if we could just get the tools needed to communicate, that would set us straight. And that for whatever reason, we just kept missing each other.
Misunderstanding Abuse & Seeking Help from the Church
Anne: So what kinds of things did you do to try and not miss each other? You know, to get help for this?
Coach Sharon: We tried a variety of different things. We did the marriage counseling a couple of times, numerous times. But we relied more on pastoral care as a source of support.
Some people in our life within the church community offered support to us in terms of counseling. But that always seemed to shine back on me and my direction in terms of my responsibility to satisfy him sexually. So that he would not fall into temptation or submit without question, no matter how it was affecting me.
So we have these help and professionals that were trying to support and help. But they were unaware of the varying forms of abuse. Because my husband didn’t assault me physically the whole time, the full length of our marriage. They did not see that I was actually in abuse. So I suffered a lot of harm, because the people in my life who offered support did not have a working knowledge of varying forms of abuse. And expected me to adhere to Biblical submission.
And I believe these people meant me good in terms of the support they were trying to offer. I think there was the desire to help, but there wasn’t the knowledge to speak to emotional, psychological and intimate abuse.
Recognizing Emotional Abuse
Anne: My experience was that I was mildly assaulted three times in the seven years I was with my ex. And so I didn’t think that physical abuse was part of my story. He would punch a wall every once in a while. One time he ripped a fence apart with a pickaxe.
I mean, that sounds super violent. But for some reason at the time, I don’t know, it seemed too much. Like, he had an anger problem or something. I didn’t perceive it as physical abuse. I also didn’t perceive my relationship as physically abusive.
With your physical abuse, was it similar? Where it was just a few incidents, seemingly mild? Even though I realize that tearing a fence apart with a pickaxe isn’t mild now. But from your perspective, did you experience that same type of thing when it came to physical abuse?
Coach Sharon: No, not really. And mine was the exact opposite. So the first 15 years of my marriage were physically abusive. It was pushing, shoving, screaming, slapping. It was very, very physical. In terms of the abuse I was living in, I just saw him as angry. Sometimes things would escalate. I still didn’t see it as physical abuse, even though I was covering up scars with makeup and going to church with scarves around my neck, because, you know, there were scars and so forth there.
And I still just saw him as just angry. I didn’t see myself as abused, but then when he stopped hitting me. Because after 15 years, he stopped physically hitting me. And I thought he switched on emotional abuse, because I didn’t realize I was emotionally abused the whole time.
The Role Of Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Sharon: I knew about Biblical submission, I didn’t know anything about emotional abuse. So when the physical stuff stopped, it confused me because I’m like, he’s not hitting me anymore.
So why is it still dangerous? Why do I still feel like I’m in danger and he’s not hitting me? Because I did not understand what emotional abuse was. And I certainly didn’t know anything about coercion. None of that registered for me as abuse. So I thought, okay, well, he stopped hitting you, and you’re just, you’re still spiraling, but I couldn’t understand why.
Anne: So, at Betrayal Trauma Recovery, we actually do not specialize in physical abuse, right? We specialize in emotional and psychological abuse and sexual coercion in the form of a husband’s pornography use. But I will say there is no physical abuse that happens without emotional and psychological abuse also being a component.
So if you have experienced physical abuse, you’re also always experiencing emotional and psychological abuse. So at Betrayal Trauma Recovery, if you’re like, “Hey, I need help. I’m going to reach out. I’m going to join the group.” We actually don’t process physical violence in the Betrayal Trauma Recovery groups.
We recommend you schedule a session with Coach Renee to actually access resources in your own location. Like perhaps the domestic violence shelter or perhaps the police. So that you can navigate that. Because sometimes reporting that is difficult. I just want to bring that up. So even though we’re talking about physical abuse right now, that’s actually not our specialty here at Betrayal Trauma Recovery.
Is Biblical Submission Abusive?
Anne: So now we’re going to start talking about Sharon’s experience when physical abuse stopped. I’m going to talk a little about how I experienced emotional and psychological abuse, and how confusing that was.
When you got help from clergy and stuff during this time, did they also not recognize that as physical abuse? And during that time, did they also say, “Hey, you just need to be more patient, you need to be more loving, you need to submit more, and he’ll stop pushing you around.”
Coach Sharon: The clergy, the church community, told me that not submitting to him caused the emotional stuff. So if I would satisfy him sexually, then that would cure him from falling into temptation. We wouldn’t fight so much. Well, if I would just submit, because submission was a big part of our faith. So I was serious about Biblical submission in terms of what I felt like a woman’s role was.
So anytime I would. challenge him. If I had a frowned upon difference of opinion, I had no voice. And that’s what I say. Like, even though there was physical abuse in my circumstance, I think the emotional abuse was harder to deal with. Because first of all, I didn’t recognize it, nor did anyone else.
Clergy did not recognize emotional abuse. So long as he didn’t hit me, I had no leg to stand on. So when we would get in counseling sessions and I was trying to explain what was happening, there was no way to explain it. Because it wasn’t a scar. It wasn’t a physical scar. It was something emotional that was happening, happening to me that I didn’t even understand.
What If I Am Abused By My Beliefs?
Coach Sharon: So I got advice like, you just need to satisfy him sexually, and the marriage bed is undefiled. And you know, whatever happens in the marriage bed is okay. And I’m like, but this is not about intimacy. It was a lot of, well, you have to submit without question, Bibllical submission, without me having a voice, without asking what the arguments or disagreements were about.
Like there was smoke, but no one was looking for a fire. It was like she’s yelling and screaming, but no one asked those questions. What’s going on behind the scenes. That was, you know, contributing to our relationship being so chaotic.
And I didn’t have a lot of information that I have now. In terms of looking at things like gaslighting, coercive behaviors, and weaponization of scripture. I didn’t understand a lot of the things that Betrayal Trauma Recovery brought to light. So I did not know what was happening to me. So I couldn’t explain it. You can’t explain what you don’t know. I had no ability to have a voice, is what I knew Anne.
Biblical submission meant Chuck held all the cards with decision-making. So if I had, something that I wanted to do in terms of parenting. If there was a direction I wanted to take with the kids, or if I felt like something was wrong to do or right to do. I had no voice in that or finances. I had no voice in intimacy. Intimacy had to look a certain way. I had to kiss him in a certain way. Intimacy had to look a certain way or it was wrong.
Can Biblical Submission Be Emotional Abuse?
Coach Sharon: So there was no voice in terms of me being able to say in what the marriage was like, I had no value. I had no opinion. If I thought it was correct, it wasn’t respected. Because I wasn’t educated enough. He would say things to me, like, you can’t comprehend that. So I had no right to give opinion to anything, because I couldn’t comprehend anything.
I couldn’t contribute. Or at least my contributions weren’t supported. Because nothing I brought to the marriage relationship was significant. Therefore, it wasn’t acknowledged. So I wasn’t contributing anything. I had no resources, whatever I brought to the marriage, whether it was finances or whatever. It wasn’t enough to match comparable to him. You know, to what he was bringing in.
So there was no voice, there was no value, but I think perhaps the worst thing, I had no God. I think that’s the worst part of it for me, was that I had no God. Because God was always on his side. He always had scripture to prove that God was on his side. So if I was hurt about something and tried to relate to him, I’m harmed. Or I’m being hurt, or I don’t agree, then he would say things to me like, God wants you to forgive. So there was no way I could ever stand up for anything.
Because forgiveness was always that variable that always pulled me back into, I have to let it go. If I refused his sexual advances, God said I had no authority over my body. If I had an opinion, then God said I had to obey in everything. He would say, touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm. Obey because of Biblical submission is required.
The Turning Point & Doing What God Wanted
Coach Sharon: No harm was one of the scriptures he would continually say, but that made me feel like garbage because there was no ally. I had no ally, even in God. So even having this relationship with God, I felt like there’s no one who understands or can see what I’m going through.
Not only does the marriage counselor seem to side with him, but also clergy and pastoral care I was reaching out for. Not only do they see me as chaotic, crazy, and sinful, but even God is not there for me. it was just a very, very hard, hard time in my life in terms of feeling like I could be seen, and slowly I just started to fade.
Anne: And knowing you, my guess is, you can correct me if I’m wrong here. That the reason you started to fade is because even if God couldn’t see you, you felt like he couldn’t. You maybe didn’t have the words for that at the time.
You love God and wanted to do what God wanted you to do. And so this is a confusing thing, because you love God. You love Jesus. You love the Bible, and here all these things are being used against you. And this is spiritual abuse, but I’m guessing you did not recognize it as spiritual abuse at the time.
Coach Sharon: Not at all. I didn’t know that spiritual abuse was a thing. I had never heard of the weaponization of scripture until Betrayal Trauma Recovery. So anytime I heard a scripture, it seemed to validate what he was saying. Yes, the Bible says a woman must submit in everything, Biblical submission. So how could I stand up for rights?
When Biblical Submission Crosses The Line Into Abuse
Coach Sharon: If he was the spiritual head, the Bible says that I had no idea that spiritual abuse even existed. So definitely it left me at a disadvantage to speak up for myself or keep myself safe, because what could I do? I can’t go against God. I would have been willing to stay in that abusive relationship forever if it meant I had to go against my faith. There was no way.
Anne: I want to make a point. We have agnostic listeners. We have atheist listeners. So neither of us is trying to proselytize. But we’re just trying to share our own experience. If you’re an atheist, for example, or you’re agnostic or something, we’d love to hear your story from your point of view and the tough times you had. Maybe from family or therapists or maybe secular places where you couldn’t get help. Everyone is welcome here.
Anne: So let’s talk about when you started realizing that this isn’t working. So you try this “Biblical submission.” You try to do all the things that this, I will call them abusive clergy, not that they understood they were being abusive. But they were sort of abusing you by proxy.
Your abuser manipulated them, so they took his side. When did you start to recognize, like, wait a minute, I have loved, I have served, I’m forgiving. I’m doing all the things. And Biblical submission isns’t working. Like our marriage isn’t getting any better. He’s told me, “Hey, you just need to forgive, and things would be okay.” But they’re not okay. When did you recognize that that typical Christian advice of love, serve and forgive was not working?
Coach Sharon: I mean, it was a long time after marriage. I mean, well into the marriage.
The Power Of Knowledge About Abuse
Coach Sharon: Definitely post Betrayal Trauma Recovery, because I didn’t understand any of this Biblical submission and abuse until I left. And after I left the relationship, a family member referred me to the podcast. I started listening to podcasts and started hearing some truths coming from Betrayal Trauma Recovery. And honestly, I honestly didn’t know at any point in the marriage that I was in an abusive relationship.
I did not until after I left, moved out and started listening to podcasts from Betrayal Trauma Recovery. That there were just really red flags everywhere and shining light on truths that I had never heard of. And it was amazing. It was traumatizing. It was overwhelming. To learn that this is it, finally, I had an answer to what was happening to me. But it was definitely after I had left the relationship and began to seek safety that I realized it wasn’t me.
Anne: Yeah, so many victims when they’re in that fog of abuse, plus they’re in the fog of clergy abuse. Where this whole vortex of people around you tells you, love, serve, and forgive. You can’t tell what’s going on. I’m so grateful that you found Betrayal Trauma Recovery. Sharon offline has told me that when she started listening to BTR, she thought I was crazy.
Many people have thought I was crazy. Some people think I’m too religious. Some people think I’m not religious enough. You know, I’m just trying to share my own experience and help others share theirs. So can you talk about that? Why did you think I was crazy when you started listening to the podcast?
Embracing New Truths About Biblical Submission
Coach Sharon: Because I had such a strong belief in Biblical submission. I thought when I initially listened to podcasts, what the message was to not submit. Like this rebellious kind of breakaway, set your boundaries, do whatever you want, type things. I was concerned that my faith would come into contact with conflict with the message.
And I did not want my faith to be in conflict with this new truth that I learned. You know, the word says my people perish for a lack of knowledge, and that’s one scripture that we always stand on. I didn’t realize there was knowledge out there that could help us keep safe. This might not necessarily come from the scripture, but could be backed in scripture. Like the books on the Betrayal Trauma Recovery website.
I started exposing myself to truths and learning, wow, they’re not saying we don’t follow Biblical truths. So I started looking at different forms of truth that you could find in a variety of different sources. And I realized that Betrayal Trauma Recovery was not advocating against religion, God or faith. It was trying to put women in a place where they could be empowered to see truth. And do with that truth, whatever they wanted to do.
So I saw that the message Betrayal Trauma Recovery offered was one that I could embrace as truth for my life. But did not put me in conflict with my faith. I could have both. I could have this truth to keep me safe, and I could have my faith.
Anne: I think that’s really interesting.
Balancing Faith & Truth
Anne: Many times the way we have other people interpret scriptures for us, like a bunch of men. They’re saying, this is what the scripture means, Biblical submission or, you know, our abusive husband. And he’s saying, this is what the scripture means. And the cool part is that we can take a step back, pray, study our scriptures, read other books and get other experience. We can actually have a relationship with God that enables us to interpret and read scripture in the way He thinks is best for us.
And I want to empower women to be able to do that, to take a step back and say, is this what God is saying? Or is he just using the scripture as a weapon to keep me oppressed? I think it really comes down to, do we really think God hates us? Because essentially, that’s what we would say, that God wants us to be mistreated. Or that God wants us to completely sacrifice our identity, our needs. And I just can’t believe that about God. Like I think God loves me.
So you find Betrayal Trauma Recovery, you realize maybe I’m not crazy or maybe I’m still crazy. But that you’re like, wow, she might be crazy, but I can still learn from this. I’m gonna start educating yourself about abuse, both through the podcast and you also began doing BTR services. Can you talk about how the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group helped you?
Coach Sharon: Group was so helpful to me, because I could hear my own story. I started listening to stories and hearing stories that I could connect with. I started identifying myself in the stories.
Empowerment Through Understanding Abuse
Coach Sharon: For once, I could make connections to circumstances and experiences in my life. Things I had lived through that other women had lived through. And it was so liberating to know that this is not just your experience, but also that there are other women who can understand and identify with the same type. You know, I could hear the stories and heartache and women that had been bamboozled with scripture, not knowing that there were other scriptures that were there to support them.
I mean, just like you said, sometimes all those scriptures were being used about Biblical submission. There were counter scriptures that were never talked about. And in group and in private sessions, private coaching a lot of those truths came to the surface. And allowed me to challenge just that one sided view of marriage that I was used to living in. So it was just so freeing between the podcast and the coaching sessions in the groups.
It really helped me to reframe my life in a bigger way. You know, to see myself as a person in a bigger way, and to see my marriage for what it really was. It just really brought a lot of validation. God does love you. And there are scriptures there that will support that God loves you. And it’s okay to set boundaries. It’s a way to keep yourself safe. And it just brought a whole new freedom in terms of me being able to say, no, this is what I’m going to choose for my life.
The Importance Of A Community Of Truth
Coach Sharon: And it made me passionate about bringing that truth to other women, because I knew right away. Once I learned all these principles with Betrayal Trauma Recovery, I wanted to bring it to everyone. I didn’t want another woman out there ever hit with the Bible and Biblical submission. And I wanted them to know that you are loved, cared for, and have a God that loves you. And he does not require you to be harmed or hit to prove that you love him.
Carrying a cross does not mean you have to be abused. That’s not what that scripture meant. And BTR gave me the freedom to stand upon that truth. And say, no, I want to carry this message to whatever woman will listen. But not only to challenge health professionals and people in a position to bring help to women. To say, “Hey, open up your eyes and look at all forms of abuse,” because helping professionals can help women if they have proper knowledge. I got all that from Betrayal Trauma Recovery.
Anne: I think it’s so crazy that we can metaphorically scream and yell for help. I did it for seven years. You did it for 20 where we’re like, help, help. We’re willing to read our scriptures, pray, go to therapy. And we’re willing to do whatever we need to do. We’re willing to have sex when we don’t want to have sex. We’re willing to, you know, anything. And we can’t get the right information.
We’re searching, searching, searching, praying, praying, and still not getting the right information. Which is why I started Betrayal Trauma Recovery. So I’m so grateful that you found us and I’m grateful that you’re here.
The Nightmare Of Abuse Figuring Out Biblical Submission
Anne: When you think back in that time, let’s just say in the fog of abuse, what do you think about it now? Like looking back, doesn’t it seem like a nightmare or a bad dream or something? What are your thoughts about it?
Coach Sharon: It really was, it was a nightmare. Yeah, it was just sad. I mean, when I think about the years I wasted trying to go back in my mind, to make things fit. To make it make sense of Biblical submission. And there was no way for me to make it make sense. When I look at it now, it’s so sad. I feel sad for myself in terms of the condemnation I lived under. I mean, I think I was suicidal because I couldn’t please Jesus.
Like I literally felt like it would be better to die, because I can’t get this right, you know? And it was like, he would say things to me like, “You shouldn’t pray. If you’re going to leave the room, don’t even bother to pray.”
And I would feel like I’m so failing this. I’m never going to be redeemed, you know? So looking back, it’s just, it’s crazy. I just can’t even believe it was my reality. And now to think it could be someone else’s breaks my heart. It just breaks my heart that this is possible.
Anne: It is absolutely heartbreaking. That’s exactly why I started podcasting. I did not want one other woman to go through this. And all the coaches here at Betrayal Trauma Recovery feel the same way, having walked this road ourselves. We were called to support other women and warn other women about this type of abuse.
Finding Peace & Purpose In The Truth
Anne: So you’re helping other women sort this reality out about scripture and Biblical submission. You’re such an important part of the team, and we’re so grateful for you on the team. We have such a strong team of amazing coaches. But personally, where are you now that you know the truth and can stand in the truth?
Coach Sharon: Knowing the truth is taking in the truth, and I’m constantly taking in truth. I allow myself to be exposed to voices that validate me. Whether through affiliations with fellow coaches or the work we do exposes you to so much truth, it gives you options. So for me, just taking in truth, growing as a person, which is a daily challenge. Still healing, because I’m still healing through memories and things that have impacted my life in just an amazing way.
I feel like I don’t know if I’ll ever truly be over it, but definitely moving in the right direction in terms of just embracing my own truth. Even in scripture and embracing truth as I see it, interpreting scripture as I see it. And allowing myself to evolve, and trust the truth on the inside of me.
The light on the inside of me, and not allowing someone else to dictate to me what that light is supposed to look like. So, just growing, growing and expanding. Learning new things and taking on new opportunities. While at the same time finding purpose, meaning, and helping other women.
The Journey of Healing From Harm Due To Biblical Submission
Coach Sharon: Just by being able to walk with another woman, see her, and validate her. To speak to those helping professionals, whether they be therapists or the church community, to just say accurate information, please. Because there’s a scripture Anne, it’s Proverbs 19:2. It says desire without knowledge is not good. How much more will hasty feet miss the way?
And if we can have a desire to help, but if we don’t have knowledge, it’s no good. I know they want to help. But in having that desire, you have to have knowledge from people like Betrayal Trauma Recovery. The BTR community, and those skilled in the area of abuse, to say, not just theology, not just the Bible or Biblical submission. We have to look at abuse if there’s smoke, looking for that fire.
Anne: And the whole team at Betrayal Trauma Recovery, the podcast team, me, all the coaches have all been through this. And I like to think the Betrayal Trauma Recovery team is a few steps ahead of the average woman still in the fog. And the other cool thing is because we’re learning this as a community. If one of us has an epiphany, we all have an epiphany. And we’re all working toward being healthy. We’re all working toward peace.
And I can say that I feel so much more peaceful six years later. And you’re feeling more peaceful, there are some things we haven’t quite figured out. There are some things currently that I’m really pondering and praying about. And getting help and researching. I’ve talked about some of those things on the podcast, but there’s some stuff rattling around my head that when I can wrap my head around it more, I’ll be able to share that.
The Role Of BTR Coaches In Supporting Women
Anne: But all of us are doing that. And that’s why I love having Sheros on the podcast, because they say things that are really aha moments for me. That helped me in my healing. So we’re all bringing each other up through this community. And it’s an amazing place to be.
So now that you are out of the fog and have made your way through years and years of struggle out of this. And now that you’re a Betrayal Trauma Recovery coach. When a new woman comes to Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group, and you meet her for the first time. There are so many things that we could teach her or support her with. But what do you think your role is in her healing as a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coach?
Coach Sharon: The first thing is to just see her, to hear her, to let her know that whatever it is she’s feeling or seeing is real. That she’s not at fault, that someone cares about her, that her story is important, that her well-being matters. And that it is okay to get herself to safety. And that means creating boundaries, putting boundaries in place that will keep her safe, and that’s okay to do.
Anne: That’s our goal. So when people ask, what is Betrayal Trauma Recovery? You know, are they pro divorce, do they hate men? Whatever they say. Are they too religious? Are they not religious enough? The only thing we care about is safety. We all have these different experiences. We all come to it from our own experience. But overall, our message at BTR is safety first.
Trusting Women To Make Decisions About Biblical Submission And Safety
Anne: And that a woman is the number one source of knowledge about her own safety once she has been educated. Once she knows what abuse is. Once she understands boundaries. We can trust women to make the right decisions for themselves. Once they’ve been educated about what abuse is. And whether or not they recognize Biblical submission.
And I love all the women in the community. They might be making different choices, but they’re making these choices. Number one with a strong foundation of an education about abuse. Then secondly, with support, with someone there holding their hand, telling them we trust you. That you’re amazing, you’re brave, you’re strong, you can do this, and you can make your way to safety. And make your life a life of peace. I love it here for that reason.
Coach Sharon: I feel the same way, Anne.
Anne: You can schedule an individual session with Coach Sharon by going to btr.org. Coach Sharon also coaches several of our Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group sessions, as do all of our coaches. So Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group will give you the opportunity to attend a session facilitated by her and meet her. She’s amazing. And I’m so grateful to know her and that she’s on our amazing team
I find all teachings of submission abusive. It presumes to believe “Women were created for a role of submission, so there is nothing injurious to a woman incurred by the act and role of submission.” Submission is “the role” of a person who has capitulated to bullying and abuse. It’s not normal but abusive. I wasn’t created to be bullied. I wasn’t created to submit. I do not not need my soul crushed by constant battery of emotionally and spiritually abuse persons rightfully called bullies trying to teach me that my role is “to submit”.
All Pauline Christianity is abusive. Paul is an early church leader who taught bullying. All teaching of any role of submission is bullying.
God is not a Bully.
In what sane world am I required as a Christian woman to accept the teaching of any church leader past or present whose foundational teaching is bullying?