Have you ever said yes to a sexual experience because you feared the consequences of saying no? This is sexual coercion, and it is a form of sexual abuse.
It’s not uncommon for women, especially within marriages, to encounter this form of manipulation without fully recognizing it.
Understanding sexual coercion can empower you to identify and address it, ultimately reclaiming your autonomy. Let’s explore seven key things you need to know about sexual coercion.
1. Abusers Who Use Sexual Coercion Prey On A Victim’s Desire To Be A Good Wife
Sexual coercion often manifests in marriage, where societal and personal expectations to be a “good wife” can be exploited.
Abusers may manipulate their wives’ sense of duty, making them feel obligated to have sex.
This manipulation can be subtle, leaving the victim feeling responsible for maintaining harmony in the relationship.
Insights:
- Many women are conditioned to prioritize their husband’s needs over their own, reinforcing the cycle of coercion. Did you know that you’re desire to NOT have sex is EQUAL to your husband’s desire to have sex?
- It’s crucial to recognize that a healthy marriage does not demand sexual compliance in exchange for emotional stability.
2. A Victim’s Perspective On Sexual Coercion
Consider the story of a woman who felt pressured to initiate sex with her husband twice a week to keep him from getting sex elsewhere. This logic, though flawed, seemed reasonable at the time due to her husband’s manipulation.
This highlights how coercion can blur the lines of consent, making victims believe they are willingly participating when they’re not.
Insights:
- Coercion often makes sense to victims at some level, which is why it can be so effective.
- Reflecting on your experiences with an objective eye can help clarify instances of coercion.
3. Religion Is Often Used To Justify Sexual Coercion
In many cases, religious beliefs are weaponized to justify sexual coercion.
Husband’s might use spiritual teachings to demand sex, suggesting that refusal goes against religious obligations.
This tactic is particularly insidious, as it intertwines faith with abuse, making it difficult for victims to disentangle the two.
Insights:
- Religious coercion can lead to profound guilt and confusion.
- Getting solid information about sexual coercion from The FREE Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast can help you sift through the emotional abuse. trusted and unbiased spiritual advisors can provide clarity and validation.
4. Sexual Coercion Examples
Many victims of sexual coercion are led to believe that if they aren’t physically fighting back, it isn’t coercion. Yet there are numerous scenarios that qualify as coercion:
- Agreeing out of fear of sulking, stonewalling, or abandonment.
- Saying yes now to avoid pressure tomorrow.
- Feeling it’s a marital duty.
- Continuing because stopping seems unfair to him.
- Advice from clergy or therapists to meet your husband’s “needs.”
- Protecting children, pets, or belongings.
- Allowing it despite not wanting it.
- Relenting after repeated refusals.
- Compliance following spiritual abuse.
- Agreeing to prevent financial punishment.
Insights:
- Understanding these examples can help victims identify coercion in their own lives.
- Empower yourself by recognizing that coercion lacks physical force.
5. Sexual Coercion Degrades a Woman’s Self-Esteem
Experiencing sexual coercion can severely impact a woman’s self-esteem, leading to feelings of worthlessness and powerlessness.
The constant pressure to do something that feels off or wrong erodes self-worth, making it difficult to recognize what you need for emotional and psychological safety.
Insights:
- Building a strong support network can help rebuild self-esteem. Attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session TODAY.
- Learn emotional and psychological safety strategies from The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Living Free Workshop to regain confidence.
6. Sexual Coercion Isn’t Love, It’s Exploitation
It’s essential to distinguish between love and exploitation. True love is respectful and prioritizes mutual benefit.
Sexual coercion, on the other hand, is a form of exploitation that seeks to control and dominate rather, most often through deceit and manipulation.
Insights:
- Love should uplift, not diminish your sense of self.
- Evaluating the dynamics of your relationship can reveal underlying patterns of coercion.
7. Sexual Coercion (Even If It Seems Wonderful) Is Sexual Abuse
Some women may initially perceive coerced sexual experiences as expressions of love, only to later realize the manipulation involved.
Many women discover their husband is using pornography, when he claimed he didn’t. She was coerced into having sex with a man who didn’t conduct himself within her sexual boundaries.
Insights:
- Secret pornography use is one of the most common types of sexual coercion in marriage.
- Deceit about any sexual behavior with a sexual partner who has been purposely kept from the truth is sexual coercion.
Every married women needs to understand how sexual coercion may be at play in her marriage.
If you’re grappling with recognizing or overcoming sexual coercion, consider reaching out for support. Attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session to receive guidance and establish genuine peace in your life.
This is just what I needed to hear to stay strong! Thank you for this amazing website!