Do you feel a pit in your stomach when your phone dings a text message alert? If your abusive ex keeps texting you, here are three things to help you.
Many victims experience trauma when the abuser initiates contact – whether in person or over text, phone, and/or email.
The BTR.ORG Living Free Workshop gives victims thought, boundary, and communication strategies to keep you emotionally safe. Here are a few highlights from the workshop.
1. The Abuser Uses Communication to Harm You
Abusers use communication – whether in person or through technology – to cause you distress.
Victims report experiencing physical trauma responses from messages they’ve received from their abusers, including:
- Nausea and vomiting
- Shaking/tremors
- Clenched jaws
- Headaches
- Panic attacks
- Trouble sleeping
- Generalized nerve pain
- Pelvic pain
The psychological and emotional affect of abusive communication (even when it looks “nice”) is serious – but it’s important to note that the abuser may also be affecting your physical well-being.
2. Categorize The Messages To Determine His Patterns
In the BTR.ORG Living Free Workshop, we give examples of the types of abusive messages that abusers send to victims. It will also detail the patterns abusers use to distress and control their victims.
Being able to see his patterns will help you anticipate what he’s going to do and cut off his ability to harm you.
3. When One Else Sees The Abuse, It’s Still Abuse
Many women in our community have expressed trauma due to the abuser appearing to be “such a nice guy” to others, including family, friends, clergy, and others.
This can continue through communication – the victim may receive a message absolutely dripping with abuse, but if another person reads it, they may interpret it to be completely healthy. Perhaps they accuse the victim of being dramatic or paranoid.
At BTR.ORG, we’ve been through it. We get it. You don’t have to prove anything to us. We’re already on your side. Attend one of our BTR.ORG Group Sessions TODAY.
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