If you’re like most women in our community, you’ve asked yourself this question at least once: is a healthy marriage a myth?

The idea of marriage sounds like a loving partnership, based on mutual respect. But what if your reality is far removed from that ideal? For women married to emotionally abusive men, the concept of a healthy marriage might seem like a myth. Here are six things to know about if you’re wondering if all marriages are this difficult.

If you relate, attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session TODAY.

1. Is Healthy Marriage A Myth? Yes, If Your Husband Uses Porn

Discovering your husband’s secret porn use can be devastating. The answer is, no not all husband’s use porn. And if he does, it’s not your fault.

Such behavior often involves gaslighting, lying, manipulation, and sexually coercive behaviors that create an unsafe environment for wives and families.

In a healthy marriage, transparency and fidelity are non-negotiable. Men who engage in secretive porn use are not providing the safe, honest environment necessary for a healthy relationship. Remember, healthy men cultivate healthy environments where trust can flourish.

2. In a Healthy Marriage There’s NO Power Imbalance

The foundation of a healthy marriage is built on a power-with dynamic characterized by mutuality, partnership, and trust. In a balanced relationship, neither partner seeks to control or manipulate the other. Instead, they lift each other up, leading to growth and thriving for both the individuals and the marriage.

Conversely, an abusive man will consistently seek power over the his wife, using manipulative, coercive, and even violent tactics to control. This power imbalance makes a genuinely healthy marriage impossible.

3. Is Health Marriage A Myth If You Need Couple Therapy?

Women in our community have shared stories of entering second marriage with a healthy man, noting stark differences compared to their abusive ex-husband. For example, Denise shared her experience with a partner who used emotional manipulation:

“Despite almost a year of couple therapy, on my birthday, he stormed off because he wasn’t getting ‘enough attention.’ He texted, claiming depression and suicidal thoughts due to lack of attention. I finally saw it for what it was – emotional manipulation. In my second marriage, my birthdays were always about me. It was so different!”

4. Not All Husband’s Just Go Through The Motions

In a healthy marriage, both partners are fully engaged and present in the relationship. If your husband is merely going through the motions without genuine involvement, he may try to manipulate you to think that all men are like this, but they’re not. And if he does, it means you’re experiencing psychological abuse.

5. You Never Need To Ignore A Nagging Feeling In A Healthy Marriage

Intuition is a powerful tool, especially in relationships. In a healthy marriage, you never feel the need to ignore a nagging feeling or dismiss concerns about your partner’s behavior. If you suspect your husband is lying to you or hiding something from you, you’re probably right. Listen to The Free Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast to learn how to discover the truth.

6. Is Healthy Marriage A Myth If You Feel Alone With Your Husband?

A healthy marriage provides a sense of companionship where neither partner feels isolated or unsupported. Emotional connection and mutual support are cornerstones of a thriving partnership. If you frequently feel alone, you may be experiencing emotional abuse.

Healthy Marriages Exist – We Promise!

If you want a healthy marriage, but nothing seems to be working, prioritize your emotional safety above all else. Remember, you’re not alone in your journey.

If you need support or want to discuss these issues with others who understand, consider attending a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session today.

To discover your husband’s true character and learn strategies to protect yourself and your family, enroll in The BTR.ORG Living Free Workshop. Your path to healing and finding peace starts now.