No, Reddit Doesn’t Have the Answers about How to Heal from Betrayal Trauma. Here are 5 reasons why.

A lot of women are looking for answers about how to heal betrayal trauma on Reddit. In searching for answers, women often find themselves on a Reddit Forum, in a mix of women and men. Here’s what those forums get wrong:

1. Betrayal Trauma isn’t “JUST” About the Cheating – It’s About ALL the Abuse

Betrayal trauma victims on reddit often share their stories about how their husband cheating on them and they can’t get the thoughts out of their heads. BUT they’re posts make it clear that they’re still unaware of all the other abuse they experienced.

For true healing, betrayal trauma victims progress more quickly when they’re aware of the truth. Understanding the emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and spiritual abuse will help things make more sense. When it comes to betrayal trauma, knowing the truth is the first step to true healing.

2. Therapy Sometimes Makes Betrayal Trauma Worse

The way therapists approach betrayal trauma is to figure out what you did to get yourself in the situation or what you can learn from it. If you’re a victim of emotional and psychological abuse, the answer is nothing. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything to deserve it, and it didn’t happen because you needed to learn something.

Women who are victimized by the betrayal of an intimate partner don’t need therapy because there’s nothing wrong with them.

3. Many So-Called “Relationship Recovery” Resources Don’t Help Women Heal

The Reddit forums contain many links to resources for couples to recovery from infidelity. However, they fail to mention two facts:

1) Infidelity is an abuse issue, not a relationship issue.

2) Couple therapy is never indicated when abuse is present. For this reason, any couple therapist who does relationship recovery for infidelity (abuse) is unethical.

These unethical therapists often pose as victims and link back to their practices to promote their business. Women in our community have often been to multiple therapists spending thousands of dollars on therapy, and the therapist doesn’t help them identify the abuse.

4. You Can’t Heal from Betrayal Trauma if You’re Still Being Betrayed

No doctor would expect you to heal from any injury until whatever caused the injury has stopped. Yet, forum members on Reddit often describe continued emotional and psychological abuse they’re experiencing, and wonder why they’re not healing from betrayal trauma.

5. How to Actually Heal from Betrayal Trauma

Healing from betrayal trauma is a multi-layered journey that starts with a victim considering what it means to be emotionally and psychologically safe. Anne Blythe, M.Ed. wrote meditations for betrayal trauma victims to heal from the trauma from the inside out, without therapy or victim blaming.

Robin had been scouring the internet for answers. “I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I searched Reddit, reading every forum. It just made me depressed and hopeless. Once I found the Betrayal Trauma Meditations, I started feeling peace again. I’m so grateful!”

Try Meditation to Heal From Betrayal Trauma

“Whatever it is, whatever direction my mind is going, the meditations brought my mind into the present. It brought peace in that moment and allowed me to rest. I really needed that,” she said.

Betrayal can create a wide schism between a victim and her ability to feel and experience her own body. Meditation helps victims become aware of their bodies and bridges the gap between body and mind. Meditations can help victims process trauma, grieve, and express blocked emotions.

Heal the Trauma In Your Body & The Heart Will Follow

A big part of trauma is the chaos the betrayer causes victims inside their own heads. Sometimes women don’t know which way is up or even where to turn. Attending Betrayal Trauma Support Group is a good start. And for women who are sick of talking or don’t have a lot to say, meditation can be an effective healing tool.

“I found that when women find out about their husband’s porn use or they start to realize, wait, this is emotional abuse, right? They’re hoping that things will get better quickly. For example, maybe they could get their husband into some kind of quick program, like a weekend retreat or something, or that maybe they’ll just file for divorce, right? Some kind of thing that’s going to solve the problem quickly. But healing from betrayal doesn’t work like that. It’s not some trick you’re going to find on Reddit,” Anne said.

The tools taught in the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Online Support Group are universal to every betrayal victim. Even though every individual is different and timing is different. How much effort to put into a specific type of healing or practice is different, depending on the individual.

So for anybody to presume they know exactly what another person should do, when they should do it and how they should do it in order for them to get to a place of peace, joy, and healing, is presumptuous and frankly arrogant. No one knows.

None of us are really in another person’s situation. But guided meditations can help victims heal at their own pace and do what’s right for them.

Many victims of betrayal can’t label it exactly what is holding them back. They don’t realize it’s the abuse in their heads.

Can Meditation Help Betrayal Trauma Victims? 

Anne continued, “I’m so happy that women love the meditations. Sometimes we can’t get our minds and bodies to do what we know we need to do, especially when it comes to healing from betrayal trauma. So if we work on our bodies first, our mind will follow.”

Click here to learn more about The Betrayal Trauma Meditations.