If you’re facing divorce, most women think, “I’m afraid to divorce my husband.” If you’re thinking this, you’re normal because divorce is scary.
1. I’m Afraid to Divorce My Husband Because How Will I Take Care of My Kids?
One of the most pressing fears women face when considering divorce is the welfare of their children. If your husband has been emotionally or psychologically abusive, the likelihood of him exercising coercive control post divorce is high.
According to Stop Abuse Campaign, Divorce is always the right answer when one parent is abusing their child or the other parent; minimizing the number of times a child is exposed to abuse, of themselves or their parent, helps them recover from it and can minimize some consequences outside the scope of the ACE study.
Divorce is difficult for children, but living in a home where their mother is being dismissed, discounted, undermined, lied to, is worse.
Fears about what he’ll do to the children or how he’ll continue to create chaos can be mitigated when you have a tested strategy that works to protect yourself.
2. I’m Afraid To Divorce My Husband Because How Will I Get Money?
Financial uncertainty is another major concern for women afraid of divorce. Many mothers have homeschooled their children and aren’t prepared or even able to return to the workforce.
The fear of losing financial stability can be paralyzing, yet it’s important to understand that resources and strategies are available to support you.
Reach out to your local government resources, such as the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program in your area. A consultation with a victim advocate in your area may help you to learn what other resources are available to you.
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coaches can help you determine what your current financial situation is and come up with a plan to take steps toward financial independence.
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions are available multiple times a day, every day, for a very low cost. These Group Sessions offer emotional support, as well as practical support.
3. I’m Afraid To Divorce My Husband Because I’ll Be Alone
The fear of being alone is a common fear when women are facing divorce. Recognize that staying in proximity to emotional and psychological abuse is generally lonelier than being single.
A supportive community like the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions can provide a sense of belonging and support. These connections can fill the gap, offering understanding and companionship as you transition into this new phase of life.
4. I’m Afraid To Divorce My Husband Because I’ll Never Find Love Again
The worry about never finding love again can keep women in fear.
While it’s natural to feel this way, “again” is the operative word here. An emotionally and psychologically abusive husband isn’t capable of love, so what you’ve experienced thus far is grooming with the goal to exploit you.
Remember, you ARE lovable. As you learn to offer yourself the love and compassion he never gave you, you’ll begin to heal.
5. I’m Afraid To Divorce My Husband Because I’ll Lose My Community, Extended Family, Friends
Divorce often results in changes to your social circle. However, distance from those who don’t understand what you’ve been through or even extend his emotional and psychological abuse will be healing for you.
Focus on building a community that supports and understands you. Participating in clubs or activites where you can mak new friends and grow will be one way to overcome the fear.
BTR.ORG Group Sessions will help reinforce your decision and provide encouragement.
6. I’m Afraid to Divorce My Husband Because I’ll Lose My Good Reputation – I’ll Be Treated Differently
Concerns about reputation and how others will perceive you post-divorce are valid.
Your peace and safety are paramount. By prioritizing your well-being and aligning with supportive groups, you can redefine your narrative and build a network that respects and celebrates your strength.
Overcoming Fear With Support & Strategy
Once you establish emotional and psychological safety, you’ll be better positioned to attract healthy, fulfilling relationships in the future.
At BTR we understand why you’d be afraid to divorce your husband. We also understand how to walk you through those emotions and give you the strategies to thrive.
BTR.ORG Group Sessions are here for you. Access our Group Sessions today and know that we love you.
Hey Anne, I know you said this was a rambling episode for you, and for me it was really impactful in these ways:
1) sharing your own specific experience with the recent custody case and loss; I view women as you as so healed, everything going so well post-getting-away-from-the-abuser. It felt like a gift to know you’re in the trenches with me.
2) providing a concrete action I can take—I’ll join you in praying for deliverance and the tares to be gathered.
3) validation of my experience of not being believed by clergy. That stings a lot since it was recent.
4) sharing the idea that anger may dissipate with distance. (And hailing anger and fighting against the notion that an angry woman is wrong! Loved that you said “Anger is a gift from God” and “people don’t like an angry woman because an angry woman takes action.” 💥