Are you asking, “Why do I feel crazy?” Have you considered your husband may be gaslighting you? If something feels off in your marriage, here’s what you need to know.
So many women in our community spent years trying to understand why they felt so responsible, alone, afraid, physically unwell, and yes – crazy.
Why Do I Feel Crazy? Because I’m Confused
If you’re confused about something your husband is doing or saying, you’re not crazy. He may be intentionally keeping you from the truth.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where the perpetrator purposefully dismantles his victim’s reality to keep her from discovering the truth.
Here are some gaslighting examples that can make a woman feel like she’s crazy:
- Her husband says, “No, that’s not what I said” when it’s FOR SURE what he said. She wonders if her memory is playing tricks on her.
- He’s kind, but suggests she needs therapy because she’s acting off (when she’s just asking normal questions).
- She can’t find her keys or other items, even though she knows exactly where she set them down, not knowing that he’s moving things around without telling her.
- He lies and tells her that people have suggested she’s acting strangely.
Covert Abuse Feels Impossible to Describe
Overt abuse is abuse that…
- Leaves bruises, blood, breaks bones
- Is clearly documentable and would immediately illicit a response from a police officer to side with you
- Damages property
- Scares children into siding with you
- Is clearly visible to other people, besides you
Is generally MUCH easier to describe than the abuse that women in our community face.
Why Do I Feel Crazy? Because He’s Lying
If your husband is lying to hide a double life, you’ll feel like you’re going crazy. Women experiencing this type of psychological abuse say they feel crazy, partially because her husband tells her she’s crazy.
A man trying to hide his pornography use or affairs would rather his wife think she is crazy than find out the truth.
He may be trying to convince you you’re crazy to hide the truth if…
- His explanations don’t make sense
- You ask him questions and he doesn’t answer them
- He gets mad when you ask him questions
- When you ask questions, he changes the subject
- He stares, with a blank look on his face when you ask him questions
- He blames you for things that aren’t your fault
- He’s constantly irritable
If he’s doing any of the above things, it’s likely that he’s involved with
- Intimate Betrayal, Including Secret Pornography Use
- Sexual Coercion
- Gaslighting
- Covert Physical Abuse, Including Physical Harm That Does Not Leave Marks Or Is Committed Secretly
- Covert Threats
- Stalking Without Any Proof
- Spiritual/Religious Abuse
You’re Not Crazy, You’re A Victim Of Your Husband’s Psychological Abuse
Just because the media, your family, friends, clergy, and others have invalidated your experience because the abuser has not punched you, broken down a door, or threatened to murder you – please take the psychological abuse you’re experiencing seriously.
If You:
- Feel Off
- Feel Unable To Determine Reality
- Find Yourself Consistently Preoccupied With Trying To “Fix” Yourself In Order To “Gain” Fidelity, Respect, Honesty, And/Or Equality In Your Relationship
- Feel A General Kind Of Unease
You may be experiencing covert abuse – and unfortunately, as an organization that specializes in covert abuse, including intimate betrayal, we have learned that victims of covert abuse need specialized support. Learn about our Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Sessions.
Why Do I Feel Crazy? Because You Need To Be Educated About Gaslighting
To learn more about why ou might feel like you’re going crazy:
- Listen to The FREE Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast
- Enroll in The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Living Free Workshop to determine if your husband is trying to convince you that you’re crazy. This workshop will help you know exactly what is happening, and WHY it’s happening.
- Attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session to get the support you need to figure out what’s really going on.
0 Comments